Crack is far more dangerous but is as easy to consume as tobacco. Similar to a smoker, a person addicted to crack can consume it regularly and heavily. 7 Tips for Mothers of Adult Addicts Parenting adult children who abuse substances, the law, or their families. Posted Oct 11, 2014. Tips for Coping with Crack Withdrawal Symptoms. Addiction to crack or other forms of cocaine is a medically recognized mental illness – diagnosed broadly as a “stimulant use disorder” – that often renders people unable to rationally control their use of the drug. Like other forms of cocaine, crack produces a strong psychological dependence in users. Lives are filled with various forms of temptations. It’s our forgiving God’s words where people can find the encouragement and strength to overcome these cravings. These Bible verses provide inspiration to overcoming the power of addiction with the faith and spirit of the Lord.
Dating in itself is already stressful. The problems that typically plague standard relationships, from forgetting an anniversary to cheating, create an almost impenetrable barrier in the relationship. Add in a drug-ridden past or present into the mix, and the relationship is not only stressful, but also very unpredictable.
I've had three serious relationships in my life, and two of them were with drug addicts. Dating became a daily juggling act between love and drugs, between happiness and utter devastation. I was constantly in a state of limbo about the success of my partner and the future of our relationship. This is my personal experience dating a drug addict. Although it won't be the same for everyone, maybe some of you can relate.
If you're romantically involved with a current or former drug addict, just know it's not all bad. Dating a drug addict, as with dating anyone, comes with pros and cons.
Con: Lack of trust
Drug addicts, even if they have been clean for months or years, are difficult to trust. For part of their lives, addicts have been consumed with obtaining drugs and finding money to pay for them. Even if they swear they're clean, trusting them completely is going to take time.
It's hard to believe they could save money when the thought of buying drugs is always lurking in the back of their minds. They also have probably become experts at lying and making excuses about their whereabouts, friends and money, so you'll want to check up on them constantly.
It also goes the other way. If recovering addicts are trying to push their pasts as far away from the relationship as possible, they will eventually resent you for questioning them.
Con: Uncertainty
There is a reason addicts continue attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings and therapy sessions; dealing with addiction is a lifelong battle. Some days are better than others, but the temptation to use drugs is a strong force that can set back years of progress. As an addict's significant other, you take on that anxiety and worry.
You constantly have to be wondering if the person you love has relapsed. What is worse is you'll also have to consider how you'll deal with relapse if it happens.
Con: Second place
To recovering or present addicts, drugs are no. 1, the top priority, the best things in the world. Their bond with drugs will be stronger than their bond with you, because drugs are easier.
Even the best relationships are sometimes messy and chaotic, but drugs are an immediate escape and a quick way to temporary nirvana. There are, of course, exceptions to this. Some addicts realize that they've given up the truly important things in their life, and work as hard as they can not to mess them up again.
Pro: Dependent
Ever hear the saying, 'Replace one habit with another'? It's incredibly true, especially among addicts. When trying to come or stay off drugs, they often switch vices. Smoking cigarettes, exercising or having sex are popular stand-ins. But beginning a serious relationship can be another substitute.
This quality could go either way, depending on the type of person you are. If you're a fan of space, inconsistent talking and independence, dating an addict will bring out your worst.
But if you like knowing you're an emotional support system for someone and enjoy interdependence, you'll thrive in this relationship. Addicts will need you as much, if not more, than you need them, and it's nice to know you're their source of happiness.
Pro: Realistic expectations
A major perk of dating someone with a checkered past is that they most likely won't judge you for yours. You have both made questionable choices or have done hurtful things at some point, so there is a mutual understanding that mistakes happen, and they don't mark the end of the world.
Addicts will also be more forgiving with blunders made during the relationship for similar reasons. Instead of walking on eggshells in a relationship, you can approach it confidently since you know the relationship will probably survive.
Pro: Emotionally available
Recovering addicts are (hopefully) going to meetings and therapy sessions regularly. Overcoming an addiction involves being as open and honest as possible with those close to you, talking out your problems and frustrations and learning how to live a sober, satisfying life.
Addicts spend a lot of time working on themselves and their relationships on the path to sobriety, so they can apply all those lessons to your relationship.
I feel deep empathy toward parents just beginning the terrible journey of their child’s addiction — and those facing the turmoil of a potential next step: rehab, incarceration, considering dislodging your child from the family home. Examples like these are still painful for my wife and me.
We have learned and faced several difficult lessons throughout our journey, all of which we previously denied in the beginning. It didn’t matter who was telling us the truth, because we thought we knew better. After all, he is our son.
We have come to accept these truths, and today it is much easier to deal with the heartache. We have become more effective at helping our son through addiction, and much more effective at helping ourselves through the process.
We love our children. We would do anything to remove any pain they are feeling. We would do anything to take away the addiction and smooth the tough road ahead. We would give our lives if it would help, even a little.
I once wrote a letter to my son about substance use. I used the analogy of him standing on a railroad track when a train is coming forward as fast as ever, blaring a horn that he cannot hear. I told him it was my job to knock him out of the way and take the hit, because that’s what fathers do. I now understand that I was wrong all along. All that would do would leave me dead on the tracks, leaving my son alone to stand on another set of tracks the next day.
We raised our children the best way we knew how. At some point, they made certain decisions that led them down this path. In the long run, we can only support them and provide different opportunities to help them make the right decisions in life. That is why different role models such as sponsors, those in recovery, police officers, probation officers, correctional officers, pastors and counselors should all work hard to show the person struggling to find the correct path. Unfortunately, this tends to be a difficult thing to do. However, at times, we cannot always do what they need when they need it — we cannot always prevent them from hurting, because they need to experience the natural consequences of their actions in order to get better.
This statement is regarding what I have written above. This is a problem only the person with addiction can fix. A concept such as this is very hard for a person like me to accept, because I try to fix everything. No one is allowed in the mind of a person with addiction, except for them. They are the only ones that can decide to change their lives, for better or for worse. This will not end until they decide to end it. Many times, parents try to make that decision for them and it only winds up resulting in more frustration and failure. What parents can do is encourage them to seek help or treatment, and let them arrive at the decision themselves.
A person with a substance use disorder may say anything to hide addiction, and may take any action to mask the problem. Perhaps they do not even realize they are lying, but are simply saying whatever they think a parent would want to hear.
I believe that children seek approval from their parents and look to give us pride. I also believe that many people struggling with addiction do not approve of what they are doing, but believe that they have no way out. If this is the case, their only mechanism for survival is to seek some kind of approval by saying what they think their parents want to hear, even if these things aren’t true.
So, when my son tells me he is not using substances, I really don’t hear it. I tell him often, “My eyes can hear much better than my ears.” Just as we seek evidence of their using substances, we must seek evidence of their recovery. Do not rely on faith alone that they are not using substances, just because they have spoken those words. And when you do see them doing something positive — for example, when they’re telling the truth — give them positive reinforcement, even if it’s for something small.
Symptoms of addiction can definitely include illegal behavior. That is why my son is incarcerated. Face it, Dad and Mom — he has made mistakes and he must pay the price. As some may say, “It is his debt to society.”
When we see others who are incarcerated in the spotlight, we tend to think about how much they deserve to be there. However, our babies are nothing like that, right? In reality, while we can justify and separate the wrongs by misdemeanors versus felonies, those are only legal terms. Every person is someone’s child. I now understand that my son has done many things that have resulted in jail time. He must pay for his wrongdoing, and must understand why that is so. Again, it is part of the natural consequences of his actions that I can’t save him from, only discourage him from.
Need help navigating your child's addiction?
We offer free phone, text message or email counseling with Helpline Specialists, who will listen to your unique situation and help you develop an action plan.
Dealing With A Crack Addict
Dealing With A Crack Cocaine Addict
5. Others may not want to be around a person with addiction
My son has wronged many people and I have come to terms with this. It is okay to feel uncomfortable around someone who uses substances. We are his family, and it is unconditional love that keeps us by his side. However, it is not wrong for friends or relatives to have their own feelings and pain about the situation. Some families in a similar situation may give great support and stick by their loved one’s side through thick and thin, while others may decide they do not want to associate with the situation, and thus make the decision to keep their distance. We, as families, get to make the choice, and there is no wrong one — either choice is okay. You have to do what is best for you and yours.
At 5 years old, my son thought he was Michelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He used to run around the house with an orange bandanna tied around his head, brandishing plastic weapons and fighting evil. When we look at our children with addiction, at times we see that 5-year-old and mourn the loss of a child. We would try anything to get them back.
My son is now a 21-year-old man. He is an adult, with a child’s maturity at times. However, our world recognizes chronological age, not maturity level. Parents must learn to do that, too. I will always believe that Michelangelo is lost inside of him. Those that are lost sometimes find their way back, but some do not. I can grieve this loss, but it will not help either of us if we don’t move forward. A person with addiction does not live in the past or the future; they live in the here and now. If you want to help someone struggling, you must live in the same world they do, and understand where they are coming from.
7. Homelessness may be the path a person with addiction chooses
My wife works in downtown Kansas City. When you drive down there, you can see people living on the streets and under bridges, with signs asking for food or money. They can very likely be someone struggling with addiction or suffering from mental illness. They are sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, cousins and friends to someone. That doesn’t change their situation. If our son makes the decision to live this way, it will hurt me terribly, but he will do this until he thinks it is time for him to change. I can try to help and I can try to encourage him to seek others’ help, but I cannot make him change.
I have learned that until you understand the truth, you cannot find peace within yourself, or be able to help your child who is struggling with addiction. Accepting the truth, and proceeding from there, allows you to help both yourself and your child.
Dealing With A Crack Addict
I do not hate my son for using substances and for putting all of us through this pain. I hate the disease of addiction and the things he does because of it. I hate the lying and the stealing. I love my son very much, but I hate his ways. It is perfectly okay, and necessary, to separate the two.
Contact the helpline
Personalized support for addressing your child’s substance use or addiction available in English and Spanish.
Connect via text, email or over the phone.
Ford racing game. Published
May 2018